When you think about having sex, would you say “intimacy” is the first thing that comes to your mind? Do you think of sex as a place to feel truly seen, loved, and free to fully express yourself? If you’re finding yourself answering “no” to any or most of these questions, you’re not alone. There’s often a huge gap between what most people truly long for in sex and what they actually experience in their day-to-day lives. Below are a few ways to deepen your experience of intimacy in the bedroom. With these essential keys in mind, you can begin to focus on radically clarifying your desires when it comes to sexual connection and intimacy:
1. Recognize the importance of cultivating an intimate friendship with your partner.
Many people who want to feel deeply connected during sex tend to focus too much on technique—the details of sex itself. In reality, however, the quality of your relationship with your partner is far more important for feeling intense intimacy in the bedroom.
For some people, emotional connection, mutual trust, and a sense of safety within the relationship can basically be thought of as a prerequisite to the fulfillment of your sexual desires. Intimacy also requires acceptance, understanding, and, of course, physical attraction. Ultimately, it’s that feeling of being at home with someone that we crave so much, and that makes the actual act of sex so pleasurable.
One of the most underrated ways to increase trust and ditch fear in your relationship (which hinders intimacy during sex) is to really work on developing a solid, always-evolving friendship with your partner. When your relationship is a safe space to share, be, and express without being judged, your ability to offer more and surrender without reservations in the bedroom greatly increases.
